This One's For the Ladies

Think:  Straight Talk for Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed-Down World

by Lisa Bloom

Published by Vanguard Press

5 Out of 5 Stars

In Think, Lisa Bloom asserts that society has succumbed to our narcissistic, self-indulgent, consumer driven culture. Women today are smart and have more options available to them than ever before, yet what are most of them doing? Applying for The Bachelor, wondering what the hell is going on with Kim Kardashian's marriage or divorce or whatever it is at this point, considering a plethora of cosmetic procedures, and reading online gossip blogs (if they're reading at all). What are they not doing? Using their intellect and first world education to address serious problems, like poverty, hunger, and the repression of women in countries far less fortunate than ours. In other words, they're not thinking. Amen, amen, amen! Obviously, Lisa Bloom is preaching to the choir here and I'm probably not her target audience, but it is certainly nice to feel some affirmation for the intellectual and educational choices I make on a daily basis since they do go against the norm. For example, most women would rather lose their ability to read than their figure (oh, hell no!) or win America's Next Top Model than win the Nobel Peace Prize (my heart weeps).

I'm not necessarily giving Think a 5 star based upon its writing style (although it is accessible and often funny) and there are some points that ever-so-slightly rubbed me the wrong way. For example, Bloom asserts that cleaning is not a woman's job (no complaint from me here) and we should simply outsource it to someone else so we have time to read and think. We should also have our children pitch in and do their part. These are not concepts with which I disagree, but they are easier said than done. Many women can't afford to hire a maid (even on a bimonthly basis) and even the most cooperative of teenagers will pitch a hissy fit upon occasion when asked do their part, yet Bloom makes it sound so effortless. However, I am giving it a 5 star because anyone who advocates the need to read and asserts that it's valuable and worthy of our time is someone with a message that today's culture needs to hear. Don't believe me? Check out the NEA statistics from the 2007 To Read or Not to Read report (also quoted in Bloom's book):

--80% of American families did not read or buy a book last year
--70% of adults have not been to a bookstore in the last 5 years
--1/3 of high school graduates never read another book after graduation

I've read several reviews that scoff at Bloom taking the time to talk about how to make time for reading books, how to choose books, and how to savor books, as though this is "duh" information and unnecessary. Based upon these statistics, I would argue that such information is urgently needed. I teach in a high school classroom and, when my students come to me, most of them are not readers. They don't know how to make time for reading or even how to pick out a book. Reading is not valued in their households. They don't ask for books for birthdays or Christmas. Their parents don't read. There are too many electronic diversions in their lives. I'm proud to say that, by the time they leave my classroom, most of them are readers. Why? Because I've taught them the simple things: how to create and value quiet time for reading, how to choose good books, and how to reflect upon their responses to literature. That's right--I'm bragging, and I should. Because there's nothing more valuable to leading a productive, happy life than reading. And it's a skill that has to be consistently taught and modeled--and that's what Bloom is doing in those chapters. Sure, if you're reading this review, you may not need it as you've obviously bought into a love of reading if you're on a social media site dedicated to it, but I'm willing to bet you know people who probably do. And Think is for them. I, for one, plan on pushing this book like crack-cocaine to the people in my life who need it--especially teenage girls in my classroom. Whether you agree or disagree with Bloom's liberal views, just the advocacy for thinking is worthy of the time it takes to read the book.

Feminism Without, You Know, The Feminism

How to Be a Woman

by Caitlin Moran

Published by Ebury Press

2 Out of 5 Stars

Quite an uneven reading experience, a fault I largely blame on the marketing of this book. How to Be a Woman is touted as basically "Feminism--now with jokes!" And that's a concept that I could get onboard with. I would consider myself a feminist, I would consider myself moderately amusing at times, and I would consider myself a fan of Caitlin Moran's white streak in her wild mane--a bit reminiscent of the 90's version of Rogue. So, yes, let's do this! I want to feel empowered as a woman, I want to laugh, and I want to re-watch the X-Men cartoons on Netflix!

This was reaffirmed when I heard an NPR interview with Caitlin Moran. She spoke intelligently about a variety of topics facing women and was very humorous in doing so. She sounded like someone I would like: funny, self-deprecating, and smart.

So did the book live up to my expectations? Not so much. The main reason is that instead of a funny feminist manifesto, the book is basically a memoir that should have been titled How to Be Caitlin Moran. Not that that is a bad thing as I still find Moran likable, but I generally do not like memoirs. I was expecting a book of ideas. And there are wide swaths of Moran's life that I simply can't relate to. Other than the chapter I Am a Feminist!, there's surprisingly little feminism in the book other than sprinkling the term "strident feminist" in some seemingly incongruous places (such as "But what am I wearing, now? As a strident feminist, how am I dressed?" [202] in the chapter I Get Into Fashion!). As though there's some sort of feminist dress code? It may be simpler to split this up into what I did and did not like about the book, so without further ado:

What I Did Like About the Book
1. From the chapter on feminism, Moran presents a simple test for women trying to decide whether or not they are a feminist: "So here is the quick way of working out if you're a feminist. Put your hand in your underpants. a. Do you have a vagina? and b. Do you want to be in charge of it? If you said 'yes' to both, then congratulations! You're a feminist" (75). She makes the point that almost every woman in the Western world is a feminist, whether they like being associated with that "dirty word" or not. Even women who say they're not feminists are enjoying the fruits of feminism as there was a time when a woman wasn't allowed to have an opinion, let alone express it. Being in charge of one's reproductive rights is a much larger issue than that of abortion. Deciding for yourself if you want to have one child, fifteen children, or none at all, thank you very much, is a right women haven't traditionally had before. Being able to say "enough already" is certainly a right women should be thankful for as so many women who came before us dropped a kid yearly, preferably sometime between clearing away the breakfast dishes and making supper.

2. Moran's funny, unapologetically irreverent take on everything. I didn't always agree with her views, but admired that she had the daring to say them. If there's one thing you can't claim, it's that she's inauthentic.

3. Her chapter on marriages. Weddings have become ridiculously high-priced events that generally makes everyone involved miserable.  Everyone (with the possible exception of the bride) would rather spend their Saturday in their sweatpants and on the couch.

4. The extremely honest chapter about her own experience with abortion. Agree or disagree with abortion, so many make up their mind without having lived through it or, you know, asking the women of a society what they think. Reading about it from a personal level brings up some interesting points for thought and reflection.

5. Moments like this: "This is the first time I've really been out in the world and met adults. Previously, all my socializing took place on the dance floor and in the bathroom of the Raglan, a tiny dark pit populated by fringed, boot-wearing teenagers: essentially a playpen with a bar. Our innocence was obvious--it shone in our faces the same way our teeth glowed white under the UV light. Yes, people were having sex, and fighting, and spreading rumors, and taking drugs--but it was essentially like tiger cubs knocking each other around, claws velveted. We were all equal. There was no calculation or recrimination. Everything was forgotten after a nap" (117). I just like that.

What I Did Not Like About the Book

1. Dear GOD!!!!! I did not like all of the FREAKING UNNECESSARY CAPITALIZATION that made me feel like I was reading an unhinged TEENAGER'S DIARY!!! And for the love of all that is punctuation, would someone please remove the exclamation mark from Moran's keyboard? Early in the book, I thought this was just an affectation meant to show how the teenage Moran thought and felt; however, it continued, unrelentingly throughout the entire book. Every single chapter title ended with an exclamation.

2. There were some squirm worthy moments: I did not enjoy reading about Moran's early experiences with menstruation. I did not enjoy the suggestion that one should taste one's menstrual blood (there's a reason McMenses is not on the McDonalds menu). I did not enjoy the suggestion that one should name one's vagina and one's breasts. Granted, I'm the type of person who perpetually lives in fear of TMI--Caitlin Moran clearly does not.

3. The suggestion that Lady GaGa is a feminist and should be placed upon a pedestal. To me, a feminist icon should be one who presents ideas. GaGa strikes me more as someone who is reaping the benefits of feminism, but not adding much new to the conversation. She is definitely a polarizing lightning rod, but more in the realm of image and sexuality. She definitely confronts and shatters stereotypes, but beyond that adds little to the conversation.

4. The fact that there's so little feminism in a book supposedly about feminism.